Back To School

It's been more than a month since ape walk his daughter to school everyday. Ape's daughter is in primary one now. The school is just across the road from where ape stays.

The first week was kind of messy but the school has prepared the parents well. The school has invited parents for briefing weeks before school starts. The principal spent almost an hour briefing us about the school, explaining the approach, describing what would happen during the first week or so, where to drop our children, where to pick up our children, what would happen, etc. Yes, the first 3 days was messy but that's expected. Everything more or less settled down by the fourth day base on ape's observation... except punctuality.

The school expected the children to be in the school by 7:25 a.m. so that tthe flag raising ceremony can begin at 7:30 a.m. sharp (exactly like the way it was several decades ago when ape was in school). Therefore, ape was a little surprised that after leaving his daughter at school, (occasionally at 7:25 a.m. sharp), while walking back, ape saw some students strolling to school... with their parents. Ape reckoned by the time they reach the school gate, it must be 7:30 a.m. or later. Are parents really that indifferent towards punctuality? Anyway, by the 3rd week, the school has taken a firmer approach and closes the gate at 7:30 a.m. Apparently, some pupils (and parents) are undeterred still, although there's significantly lesser now.

Anyway, school is fun really or rather, ape enjoys walking his daughter to school. The walk might be 5 minutes but it allows ape to indulge in small talks with his daughter. Seeing so many people walking towards a common direction for a common purpose makes ape feel so alive again. It's very unlike the zombies in trains, bus and roads where everyone seems to be rushing to somewhere to do something but dunno what.

The routine ape went through in the last 2 decades was wake up, wash up, go work, wake up , wash up, go work, wake up, wash up, go work. Before this year, ape couldn't recall when was the last time when ape wakes up before the sun rises to feel the cool morning, steps on the cold tiled floor and speak in low soft tones. The only times when ape feel the dawn were days when ape had to stay out late or worked overnight and arrived home at daybreak. This year is so different and walking my daughter to school brought back so much fond memories.

When ape started school, some 3 decades ago, mommy ape walked him to school. Ape's mum works in the school so that's not too much of a problem and we usually arrived in school at 6:00 a.m. You see, ape's mommy is what one might call, a school janitor or back then, she's called Ah Soh. Mommy has to open the school gate, school office, turn on the tuckshop (canteen) lights, etc and ape delightfully helped her do these... afterall, not everyone has this privilege to sneak into the principal's office and sit on his chair. Then, ape would go to his usual corner and wait for his classmates to arrive. We'll chat and as more friends arrive, we'll play games such as police-and-thief (catching), tok kar (catching but hopping on one leg) and sometimes when the girls were more obliging, they'll invite us to play zero point (skipping ropes) or five stones. Almost everyone was eager to go to school simply because school was fun. Playing together made us feel good about learning together and it didn't hurt so much when we were punished together. It was the "togetherness" that give ape so much fond memories.

In case you're wondering, the picture is the school that ape attended... in fact, ape was in the class situated at the highest floor at the corner. You'll never see another pupil wearing the school uniform anymore. It's been closed down and merged with two other schools.

Pink Dot Sg

Ape is proud to be there, with his wife and daughter.

You be your own judge on how you and your family want to live your lives. Please don't judge others how they live theirs as long as they do no harm to others and are happy.

We Are AWARE

Updated on 9 May 2009

Ape is really a peace loving person. For that matter, ape is always a firm believer of listening first, decide later, action latest. In order to be able to listen first, one has to be open minded, non-judgemental and empathetic. That is the exact reason why ape supported the original AWARE. The ousted new-EXCO headed by Josie Lau did the reverse of what ape believes in - that is action first (by taking over the EXCO) and listen last. Thus, ape can never support or condone them.

Save AWARE For Gender Equality

Ape is a male, in case you haven't noticed, so when ape first got to read about the AWARE saga in the Straits Times, ape really can't be bothered. The reason is that, ape heard of this name AWARE and heard that they do something for women and that's all ape knew.

What went on in ape's mind then was "Hmmm... imagine if after the last General Election in year 2006, all supporters of say Workers Party started moving to say Tanjong Pagar GRC and consolidate there and by the next election, WP contest against PAP that is headed by Minister Mentor and PAP lost!!!! Wah! Big news leh!" ... but of course this would not happen.

Anyway, that news article on 10 April 2009 was soon forgotten by ape (not entirely la... ape did visit other blogs and got a little bit info about the backgrounds of the new EXCO). Then on 17 April 2009, over lunch break, ape's colleague was saying something about DBS start interfering with employees personal time and something something relating to AWARE. Oooh! Interesting.

So after work, ape read about the incident in Business Times. Apparently, it is not a case of employer interfering with employees personal time. Read carefully. It is a case of employee breaching the company's staff code of conduct. Josie Lau did not declare or seek approval from her boss (twice) when she joined the AWARE EXCO and then elected to President of the EXCO.

And so days passed. Ape met a neanderthal friend for coffee who said," aiyah... all these women folk things... all the 38 38 matters... why receive so much attention in the news? Trying to suppress the Geylang Serai Market problem izit?"

Well... ape is not sure of both allegations ... 1) Is what's happening in AWARE just an internal problem? 2) Is there some cover ups at the GSM?

At least ape is sure he can find out more about AWARE. What ape found out is that, the AWARE saga, as the ape see it, has become a battle of idealism (is that the right word?)

Apparently the old EXCO feels that the new EXCO will possibly impose their religious views into AWARE. The new EXCO accusses the old EXCO of promoting lesbanism. In their defence, old EXCO maintained that AWARE is a secular organization that embraces diversity and they are neither pro or anti gay/lesbanism.

Is you want to find out more, search the net or if you trust the posting of new AWARE website set up by the old EXCO (so confusing new website, old exco :p.. ape going bananas), go here where the old EXCO supporters have consolidated all the news reports from main stream media. (Remember hor, in Singapore, main stream media is supposedly to be factual and objective).

After reading through all these reports and the events that occurred... ape feels not only this matter concerns him, ape also feels he need to lend some support to the old guards... and he did so by signing this petition.

Actually, in this post, ape wanted to tell you why he decided to support the old guards but... really, it's very late now so I'll explain further on another day .

Growing Up - Religion, The Introduction

Sorry, folks... been busy lately doing someone else's job... but that's life.

In my previous post some time ago, I mentioned that I'll talk more about growing up in Singapore or should I say, MY growing up in Singapore. (Noticed how egoistic am I? :p)

Anyway, as I was on my way home just now, thoughts about my religion, or rather, my journey into discovering religion came into my mind. So, I will blog about it here.

I was born into a typical Chinese family and religious inclination is a mixture of Taoism and Buddhism... just like any typical Chinese family in Singapore. I had no idea what is Taoism or Buddhism. I just followed what my parents, and grandparents, did. We worship the Goddess of Mercy (which is in line of Buddhism), Tian Gong, Guan Gong, Tu Di Gong and our ancestors (the latter are more in line with Taoism). Nevermind if you do not know these deities but just to let you have a brief introduction to the polytheistic nature of traditional Chinese faith in contrast to the monotheistic nature of other religion such as Christianity.

Like I said before, I merely followed what my elders did and went through the religious rites without knowing what we were actually doing. It was until about the age of 10 when I started to be more explorative and involved in understanding religion and it was actually Christianity where I started off.

It all started when I would "sneak" into the church right beside the HDB flat where I used to stay. Theplayground in the church compound is particularly attractive :p. Furthermore, churches are typically peaceful. Occasionally, I would attempt to go as far as into the building itself and sit in the Sanctuary (where mass service is held) and contemplate. It was on one such incident when Pastor Yap caught sight of me and extended his invitation to the Saturday children session with promises of singing, games, story-telling and friends. The songs, games, stories and friends certainly appealed to me and before long, I attended the Saturday sessions regularly.

It was obvious that all the songs and stories were related to the Christian faith and it was through those where I started to understand Christianity more. Before long, I was baptized through prayer and the Saturday service was no longer just about fun. Don't be mistaken - the singing, story-telling etc still went on but I went to church for reasons more than just fun. I was slowly discovering another aspect of myself, i.e. my perceptions towards the world beyond mortal affairs. Furthermore, I discovered certain potential in me when I was occasionally tasked as the song/prayer leader and even a team leader once, during a church camp. Well, actually it wasn't something great as other kids did get their chance but my point is we were given opportunities to take lead at one time or another. From the bible, parables and sermons, I begin to see more into the adult world... the real world.

However, my going to the church wasn't warmly received in my family. My dad was openly skeptical about Christianity with me. My mom was skeptical too but she's more reserved on her opinion. In any case, my parents had never forbid or restrict me from going to church.

On one occasion, I got an earful from dad when I say grace at the dinner table, thanking God for providing food for us. My dad had a poor grasp of English but he certainly knew what I said. "What did Jesus do to provide food for you?!?! I worked so hard to feed the family and you thanked Jesus instead of me, your father!" Well, both my parents were workers with little education and they certainly worked very hard to feed this family of six. I can understand his unhappiness. Since then, I made my prayer in my heart. If I'm still a Christian now and if my dad is still around, having dinner with us, perhaps I'll amend my prayers to "Thank you Lord, for giving us a father who worked so hard to feed us, and for giving us a mother who can cook so well (my mom can really cook)". But my dad is no longer around and I'm not a Christian now - I'm what they call a Backslider.

There are several reasons why I backslided. The initial reason was that when I went into secondary school, the ECA took its toll on me. Saturday was full day ECA for me, not the typical half day. That left Sunday for me to attend church but Sunday is the only day when I have full day for my family. Following my missing church, a few upsetting incident happened with the members of that church which made me lose faith. One of it was that a couple of the church members went to my home, supposedly to enquire why I missed church. I was in school for my ECA, as usual, and my mom attended to them. My mom didn't know that I seldom attend church service then and explained that she didn't stop me from going.

Sensing that they were unable to get anymore answers from her, they turned their attention to the deities and ancestor tablet place on the altar and remarked that my mom was worshiping idols (in Mandarin, the word is rock). THAT upsetted my mom and she retorted that she respected their rights to they religion and respected her son's choice in religion and told them not to make such insulting remark on her choice of religion. If we had knew about the Seditions Act then, those two fellas could have ended up in jail. My mom didn't tell me about that encounter immediately then when I returned from school... still respecting my choice. There were other incidents with some Christians, personally experienced by myself and finally made me gave up Christianity totally.

Before anyone say I am against Christianity and attempting to spread not-so-nice messages, let me add that another person (Lay Hoon's the name) who got baptized with me, had a totally different experience. Her life had certainly changed for the better. She had certainly found hope in Christianity (and I have no idea how is she doing now since I stopped going to church). My experiences with some were not pleasant but that was mine experiences. I was almost against Christianity at one point of my life. Thank goodness, a sound minded Christian friend once told me, man can fail you because it is human to err but God will not - do not judge a religion base on the actions of man. With those words, I'm managed to keep an open mind about Christianity and any other religion.

If there's a church nearby with its doors wide open, perhaps I'll sneak into Sanctuary and contemplate once more. :p

Mind Over Matters?

Just had my 5th RT session. For the uninitiated, RT is known as Remedial Training. You will be blessed with RT if your fail or did not attend your IPPT. IPPT is Individual Pa Pok Test... no lah. IPPT is Individual Physical Proficiency Test. It is compulsory for every NS liable Singaporean to take the IPPT once a year. Since I'm still an Operational Ready NSmen... or so they term us but I still regard myself as reservist, I'm still required to take the IPPT once a year. For my last IPPT window, I failed my 2.4km run... ok ok... to be honest, I would have failed my chin-up also if I had not cheated a bit... a little it of jerking and not keeping my arms straightened :p

Of all the stations, consisting of of 4 static stations (shuttle-run, situps, standing broad jump and chin-ups) and a 2.4km run, I always have problems with chin-ups. Every year, during the test, I will fail by 1 or 2 chin ups... and have to re-test or attend RT. Since the days of my Basic Military Training, standing under the chin up bar would make my heart pump faster and I'll conjure butterflies in my belly. Only in the last recent years, I have problems with running the 2.4km also... just managed to pass.

I've always wondered what is it that keeps me from passing my IPPT.

Is it due to lifestyle?
Or perhaps diet?
Maybe it is work stress and the lack of time for exercise?
But I think all the above are excuses. I smoke but there are chimneys out there who can get gold medal for IPPT. The Company's Best PT during my BMT is one such example. Diet wise... well, I'm not obese and my BMI is still within the ideal range. And I have reduce my intake of fatty and high cholesterol food. Lack of time and stressed by work is also not an excuse... afterall, I'm one who do not believe in selling my soul to my employer.

So what's keeping me from training for my IPPT? I believe it is this...Mind Over Matters. I just have to keep to a strict regime of exercising regularly. I must keep reminding myself that exercising is not just to pass my IPPT. It is to keep my health stable as well. Afterall, age is not slowing down for me and as the years pass, I am finding it harder and harder to keep up and maintain my personal standard.

For a start, I have to train to pass my RT-IPPT in less than 2 weeks. Wish me luck :p

The Best Birthday Gift

I have been receiving birthday gifts but non is as special as this card. It is made by my daughter, Trixie. Did I say I am very proud of her? Nothing beats a simple card that is original and comes with sincerity. Not only did she give me a card, she called to wish me a happy birthday.

My Son, Tate

Woohooo! First, I must thank wifey for having to carry our new born son, Tate for the last nine months. He's a healthy, not-so-little guy weighing slightly more than 3.7kg at birth!

Not any less lovable than our first child (Trixie), Tate's coming to this world brings a special significance to my family. If you've read my previous post, my father passed away late last year. What most of you do not know is that, exactly 3 weeks after my father's death, my brother joined him. No one knows what made my brother take his own life but apparently he was suffering from depression, something which we suspected but didn't know it was that serious. It was a very, very difficult period for my family. So when wifey and I came to know that Tate is akan datang, I wasted no time to spread the good news to my mum and the rest of the family. BTW, Tate's arrival was not planned... at least not by us, so I'd thought there must be someone out there watching over us and present this gift to us.

OK, so much for the sombre part. Let's move forward to the more positive outlook in life... Wifey and I felt that his name should start with a letter T like his sister, Trixie. Did a search for meaningful boys names starting with the letter T and my oh my, the names are limited. Eventually we filtered down to two - Tate and Theodore. Personally, I preferred Theodore which originates from Greek meaning "God's gift". Wifey preferred Tate which is of English origin meaning "Cheerful". Each of these names have different variations like Tait, Taitte, Tayte for Tate and Ted, Theo, Theodorus for Theodore. Eventually, I relented and agreed on Tate. Theodore may be a bit of a tongue twister for our non-native English speaking families. Besides that, the name Tate is more related to Trixie which means "Bringer of joy".

During gestation, Tate is unlike his sister who is more placid. Right from the end of the 1st trimester, his movement can be felt and he moved alot through the rest of the pregnancy. I wonder if he aspires to be a gymnast. Besides that, wifey felt contractions very often too. When wifey was carrying Trixie, the only time she felt ONE contraction (and a relatively mild one) was when she was waiting in the delivery ward for the hospital staff to prepare the operations theatre. With Tate, it was a totally different matter. I just hope we can educate Tate to be as well behaved as his sister.

Also, Tate grows fast. Last weekend when we were shopping, people gave obvious about their stares when they look at wifey. One even remarked, "Wow! So big!" 3 days back when wifey went for her medical appointment, Tate's estimated weight was 3.4kg!

Last morning, when the amniotic fluid started to flow out (one of the signs that the baby is about to come out), we grabbed the bag and hailed a cab. The driver is a nice chap and told us that he'll go slow for a smooth and safe ride to the hospital. Wifey said something that made him promptly floored the accelerator, beat a red light and almost did a drift. I had to harmonize the speed correcting that he need not go THAT fast and added that we didn't want him to be booked by the traffic police. He laughed it off saying it's alright. If TP did notice, he would explain the situation and we might get a free escort to open the traffic ahead for us. We reached the hospital safely anyway.

Everything went through smoothly and Tate is delivered after a C-Section and this time, I am not suffering from shingles and managed to be in the ops theatre with wifey and Tate the moment he is born. Tomorrow will be another day where we'll have to jia you cos there'll be many years ahead of us.



For those of you who do not know what's a C-Section (Cesarean Section), follow this link to watch the video clip of how babies can be born. (Warning: It can be gory and upsetting to some)

My Dear Daughter

Not too long ago, someone in CNA forum guessed that I must have a very well behave daughter. Well, I must admit she is and I certainly hope she can continue to be so.

Over the last 4 years, I hardly see my daughter. The reason is that wifey and I are weekend parents. That means, we'll fetch our daughter home over the weekend and comes Sunday night, we'll have to "deposit" her with my mother-in-law. Also, we make it a point to visit her (and my mother-in-law) at least once a week during the weekday. Do I really have a choice to do otherwise? We certainly hope that we can see her everyday and have her calling out to us, "Papa! Mommy! You're home! See what I draw!". However, we can't... both of us have to work. Can we fetch her home on a daily basis? Maybe... but I think travelling for 45mins on either direction between my M.I.L. everyday will be taxing on us and our daughter... not to mention traveling from my M.I.L's place to/from my workplace. Why don't I buy a car? Yeah, right... might as well suggest one of us quit our job. Or better still, go buy toto and pray that I'll strike the first prize. $500K will do - I do not expect to win the rolled up millions although I do not mind :P

To cut the long story short, wifey took a couple of "long weekend" leave recently such that the "weekend resort home" become "weekend cum Monday resort home". Instead of the usual practice of returning her (my daughter, not my wife) to my MIL on Sunday, we go there on Monday so that we can have more time with her (my daughter, not my MIL) and hear that "Papa! You're home! See what I draw!"... aaaaaah...bliss!

She can really be chatty if she wanted to and will take the initiative to play with us with her usual "SURPRISE!" She will attempt to hide...by covering her eyes and then shout surprise while removing her hands to look at you :=) (I think I'll need to teach her the story of 掩耳盗铃). Anyway, it is always fun playing with her.

Also, the honest truth is, she rarely makes me angry... frustrated perhaps but not angry. However, on a recent occasion, she got on the nerves of wifey. Now, try to understand that wifey is very, very pregnant now so she tends to be a bit more sensitive. So on that particular day, wifey was teaching Trix to spell "The" and "This". After several rounds of coaching and repetition, Trix still spell "This" like this "Theis". Wifey lost her temper and hit our daughter's hand with a cane! Ouch! To be exact... a candy cane :P ... (not so ouch). Tears welled up in our daughter's eyes and only then did that irresponsible papa who hides in the study room blogging, came out to the living room and save the day :p.

I could see from her eyes that the tears rolled not because of the pain from the candy cane (it's really a very small one) but more like somehow, she felt she has disappointed us or made us feel unhappy. That made me look at my daughter in a very different perspective and I really think she is quite capable of sensing when someone's emotion is really not quite right. In other words, she is quite understanding. On top of that, she isn't those who wails and screams nor shout (touch wood) - she just cry, trying hard to hold back her tears and look at you with pleading eyes and that look totally melts my heart... like this one, taken a couple of years ago...With that look, we continued to coach her for another hour or so with as much patient as we can muster. Finally, at the end of the day, when I asked her to spell "This", she wrote "T h i s" and then I asked her to spell "The", she wrote "T h e"... woohoo! So I tried again and asked her to spell "This", she wrote "T h e i s"... ... ... ... perhaps, she's not ready for "This" yet.

Maybe, I'll a different approach next time and teach her "This" and "That" instead of "This" and "The". But whatever the case may be, we still love you, Trixie!

A Year Ago...A Death In The Family

Christmas is round the corner and I suppose many of you are preparing for the holiday season, if you have not done so. This post is nothing about being jolly or bringing good tidings. In fact, it's the opposite. So if you do not wish spoil your jolly good feelings... give this post a miss, please, I insist.

I will not hesitate to write talk about life, neither would I shy away from death. After all, have you met anyone who has never lived or will never die?

On this day a year ago (base on Chinese Lunar Calendar), my father passed away. There are certain rites to be performed, according to the Chinese practice, after one year. So, this morning, I headed to my mum's place. As the monk who assisted in the rites started the all to familiar chant, emotions started to well up and got stuck at my throat. I guess one can only move on but never able to "get over it".

It was a sad moment for my family when my father passed away. It was also a sort of relief - in the sense a relief for my dad and family because he was suffering for some weeks prior to his passing. My father suffered from pneumonia and a mild stroke which got him admitted into the hospital. The pneumonia eventually led to one of his lungs collapse. He struggled for a month or so and eventually passed away peacefully in the hospital. His wife, eldest son and youngest brother were beside him when he left. The eldest son, my brother was particularly depressed and that left me to take care of the funeral arrangements. My father was eventually cremated in Bright Hill Temple and his urn placed there. One thing we didn't realised was that his death had affected my brother more than anyone else.

My father was a conservative man and by that I mean he was the type who believes that man must be the head of the family and as long as he provides for the family 3 meals a day, roof over their heads and children gets educated, he has done his job. He would never have been nominated for the "Best Father of The Year Award".

Nevertheless, he was a good man. He would never impose his views or opinions on another. He would frequently offer alternative perspectives such as making you think about the fisherman who offers bait to fish or the patriarch who drove his prodigal son out of the family. Whenever something appears to be wrong, he would make you think about the righteousness in it or when something appears to be right, he would let you consider what could be the (wrong) hidden agenda. From his perspectives, there are no absolute wrongs or rights. However, that does not mean he was without opinions. He did have them. Just that he did not impose his opinions on others.

It's been a year now and life has to move on.

This Used To Be My Playground

We used to play here. It was near the block where my gandma stayed. All landscape that you see in the picture are gone now. This was our "kampung". On any festive occassion, all the relatives would gather at my grandparents' place. The adults would play socialise over mahjong, coffee or talk about whatever topics adults talked about. The children would gather downstairs and play. Once in a while, an uncle would showoff his camera and snapped pictures of us. I suppose this was taken during the Chinese New Year period or we wouldn't have dressed so nicely.

Notice the drain on the left? My cousin and I would arm ourselves with slippers or sticks when night falls. We would scout the drain for cockroaches and *smack*... NEA would have been proud of us :p

Also, note the phone booth and the phone inside. That phone was the second generation. I can still recall the first generation is a green phone with dialling disc... yes disc and not pad. The type where you need to dial the numbers one at a time... to let the disc roll back before you can dialthe next.

If I do recall clearly, we were the only children that roam this place frequently. There were a couple of households with less than a handful of children staying in that block but none of them managed to gather as many children (or grandchildren) as my grandparents. Games we used to play include Catching, Tua Beh Long (Big Road), Zero Point, Hop Scotch and a lot more. The eldest chap in the picture is my brother...the eldest grandson. He was the one who came out with most of the games. A very innovative person who improvised games and tools with used items.

We had so much fun and now we've all grown up and most of us are parents ourselves.

Personal Ethics On Blogging

Something happened recently that force me to reflect on some ethical issues about this blog.

My Sec 1 niece, B, managed to hunt me down and found my blog. It is natural that it will only be matter of time when all the other nieces and nephews and even my own children will come to read my blog... provided this blog did not bore her to death first. In other words, what is written here is no longer the views and opinions of a stranger but that of someone she knows.

Of course mature adults who read my blog can differentiate between "sensibilities" and "silly nonsense"... although there might be some adults who still can't do it. Of course, there are children who can't form the distinction but at least they can still go to their mommies and daddies to ask... and I hope they do - "Pa! There's this orang utan who can blog and say something I don't quite understand, please explain!"

"Oh...this fella is full of nonsense! My child, don't believe a single word he says!"

It is a different matter when my niece,who knows me in person (or at least the kind of person I project to her) reads my blog. What if all along she look towards me as that serious-no-nonsense-unable-too-lie role model (I doubt she regards me as such but just what if) She may regard everything I say here as the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth! And this will worry me a lot! I would imagine she mimic some of the expletives I use here, got a scolding from her mommy and with tears rolling down her cheeks, she defended "But Uncle Ape says that also what! To the whole world!" Gosh! Am I in serious trouble! Before I go any further, let me address some family issues...

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To my niece, B (and niece R, nephew D, D, J... the whole lot of you!) whatever impression I cast on you in person, know that it will depend a lot on your age. There are things about me that I will never show you or talk to you... at least not while you're still young. However, do note that what I write in this blog goes out to all sorts of people. My assumptions are that most of these readers are adults and know when I'm joking, making sense, silly, sprouting nonsense etc and children who reads my blog are under parental guidance. So, if you do come across something that I write here, things where Ah Ma or Po Po will say "Aiyoh! This is so evil!", please don't be confused as to who is right or wrong... just ask me in person. I will most likely tell you Ah Ma or Po Po is correct.

Know this also, whatever impression you may have about me, know that whatever I say here CAN be wrong, silly or full of nonsense.
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Back to everyone...hmmm... I forgot what I want to say :p Or ya, about blogging. There are many things I would normally not say directly to any person in particular but in blogging, where the audience covers a lot more people, there is a slight different in that issues are no longer "personal" but more open.

For example, we take the case of a certain school teacher who announces his sexuality in his blog. Would he have said the exact same things in class to his male students? I doubt so. His "walking out of the closet" was addressed to people in general and the message I receive was "Do not hide your full potential just because you are not entirely normal".

Or taking an example from my own experience, there are certain friends who might feel very strongly about his religion. I may have my own believes and reservations about his religion but knowing how he would react, I will never discuss my views on his religion with him. However, that doesn't mean that I will not talk about his religion with anyone else.

... ... ...

I lost myself again... what was I trying to say? (another sign of old age?)... ya, ok. My point is, when you read a blog, please don't take it too personally... unless of course the blogger names you, shames you and made you look silly in front of the whole world.

Memory Snapshots of Early Childhood

I better get started about my life story before Ras starts throwing Char Kway Teow or Chai Tau Kuay at me...whatever that means :p

Have you ever wondered how much do you remember about your early childhood? And how early or what is the first memory? At 4 years old? At 3 or 2 or even 1? I can only remember vividly of events in kindergarten 1, i.e. 5 years old onwards. I can also recall quite a number of events that happened when I was 4. Anything before that? I can only think of 3 "snapshots". I had no idea what they meant until my family and relatives filled me in when I'm older.

What are these 3 snapshots? The first is me looking over my shoulder at the corridor of my grandma's flat. My older brother was standing there, waving, pointing and shouting at me.

The second snapshot is one where I see the door of the private clinic below my grandma's flat opened and it seemed that someone was carrying me into the clinic.

The third is more like a 2 part short video clip. Part 1 - Grandma told me to stay and wait while she entered a bank. I turned around immediately to examine the fishes swimming in the water-landscape pond. Part 2 - I observed that the water line is right in front of me...and one of my slippers is floating right in front of me at eye level. A man was reaching out to grab my hand.

So what really happened? It's not difficult to guess the third scenario. Grandma and I went to the bank. Bank was crowded with a long queue (so are banks now) so I was told to wait outside. Right outside this bank was a small, simple, artificial landscape with a small little waterfall and a small little pond with small little fishes. And this small little ape was very excited about the small little fishes, inched out to took a closer look and fell into the pond :p

I remembered the bank was UOB because I visited that place many times after that as I grow older. And everytime I passed that place since that incident, I kept wondering why they have filled up the pond with cement? I missed those small little fishes.


What about the 2nd snapshot - clinic door? One of my uncles carried me into the clinic. Why? I fainted. Why? He caned me. Why? I wasn't paying attention when he was trying to coach me on some simple word recognition. I was to learn later that the doctor and my mum wanted to report him to the police but didn't do so eventually. FYI, that uncle of mine is not a child abuser. He was young then. I must have pissed him off terribly. I do not harbour any bad feelings about him, even after I came to be aware of what happened. I know he is truly sorry for what he did because all these years since then, I can sense that he is particularly nice to me amongst all his nieces and nephews. Maybe it was that particular incident that made me smarter (academically only) among my siblings and cousins :p

The first snapshot. Even without anyone telling me as I reflected on the first snapshot when I was older, I could tell that I was either in the carpark infront of my grandma's flat, at the bus stop or on the road. How old was I? What was I doing there? What was my brother shouting about?

Here's what my brother told me. He came out of my grandma's flat on the 3rd storey and stood at the corridor, looking across the road and into the school and the market opposite the flat. He saw a toddler, barely able to walk, making his way across the road! Hmmm...this child looks familiar, in fact, he looks like :O ?!?!?!?! So you know why he was shouting, pointing and waving. No one knew how I managed to sneak out of the house, walk down the stairs from the 3rd storey, past the coffeeshop directly below grandma's flat, cross the single lane carpark, crossed the bus stop (I must cross the bus stop because there was a drain between the carpark and the road and the bus stop was the only access to the road) and arrived in the middle of the road...undetected by anyone! Singaporeans really bochap?

Here goes the exciting part. At that moment, a public bus was coming my way (service 240 or 246?) The driver saw me, jammed on his brakes and brought the bus to a nasty stop. At about the same time, my brother managed to alert some of the adults (my uncles and grandma?) and they dashed towards the road only to find me...of course not dead la! Died how to write story here? They found me under the bus, safe and sound.

Many years after that, my father told me the road used to be served by Service 246. Because of that incident, SBS pantang (superstitious) and shifted 246 to run on another road. Service 240 replaced the route taken by 246. In anycase, if the uncle who drove that bus is reading this, please accept my sincere apologies...I was young and rash and have never intended to cause you any distress.

More About S377A and Gays

Sorry folks, I thought I want to stop ranting about this issue but the last parliament session made me want to cow peh some more. When I read the parliament speeches, it become obvious where the "poles" build their foundation.

Repeal 377A approaches it from "Clarity in Law Making".
Retain 377A approaches the topic from "Moral"

For sometime now, I have been looking at this issue on one side of the fence-the Repeal 377A side. I stand on the Repeal 377A side to listen to what BOTH sides have to say. The information I obtained from Repeal is loud and clear - Strength 5! The information I received from Retain 377A was like unreadable and noisy - Strength 1. There were too much clutter and interference for me to make out any sound reasonings.

So for the past few days, I move myself into the Retain 377A camp with the hope that the clutter and noise can be reduced so that I can obtained a less attenuated information from the Retain 377A camp.. True enough, I managed to filter out all the noise and found something intelligible there. Allow me to share my understanding here.

It is obvious to me that NMP Thio does not discriminate gays - she is merely objecting to the act of MSM (male to male sex). To put it simply in the way I understood (and I hope you understand too) is that it is fine if you acknowledge that you (male) are sexually attracted to another male. You can run around shouting "I am a gay! I am sexually attracted to another male!" and the police will not arrest you for that under S377A, although I think the police can arrest you for committing public nuisance under S268.

However, according to S377A, it is a crime if you (male) engage in sexual activity with another man. This means that gays are not criminals as long as they do not have sex with another male. To put it another way, a very direct and blunt way is this - if you (male) cannot have sex with a woman, don't have sex. :( Gays are not criminals as long as they remain celibate.

Still standing in the camp of Retain 377A, I turn my receiver back to the Repeal 377A side and I pick out this message "I do not choose to be a gay! I am like that! I was not influenced or made like that in any way!" I believe and acknowledge that these guys do not have a choice on their sexual preference. However I do believe that they have a choice on whether they want to have sex.

Another piece of intelligible information I obtained from NMP Thio is that S377A covers a heterosexual male experimenting with male sodomy. How I understood her reasoning is this. If a guy, a young teenage guy perhaps, probably still unsure about himself and his sexual preference, believe that the best way to proof his sexual preference it is to try it :O, probably S377A is the only defence he has before he says "Damn! Tak shiok and hurts like hell! I think I still prefer woman"

If I were to draw a two column table and place Retain 377A on one side and Repeal 377A on the other and list down the reasons for each column, "to deter males from experimenting with male sodomy" will be the only reason I can think of under Retain 377A.

So where do I stand now? Sidetrack abit first :P

Through my working life, I have been given opportunities to draft Standard Operating Procedures (SOP), Technical Orders or processes and procedures. To me, all such "guides" have to be clear, concise and easily understood. For every single statement, I always ask myself "can this be done?" and "does this serve any purpose?". When it comes to more serious "guides" such as Technical Orders, I take extra effort to eliminate ambiguities. Technical Orders are technical procedures that MUST be followed. Non-conformance to such orders would invite some form of reprisal. In other words, someone will get into trouble if he misunderstood what I wrote.

I look at the Penal Code and still feel that S377A has to be changed. It clearly include consensual sex between 2 male in private and yet gahmen says law enforcers will not bother them. Hello! People up there? If you want to keep it, do it and tell all gays to remain celibate. If you do not intend to arrest 2 males engaging in consensual sex in private, change the damn S377A such that a very specific case is excluded. Take a stand, a firm and clear stand because we are talking about the Penal Code. It is not just about making the Repeal 377A or Retain 377A camp happy, it is also about making the law enforcers happy, happy to know that exactly what has to and need not be enforced.

Please take sometime to read the parliament speeches by NCMP Sylvia Lim, NMP Siew Kum Hong, NMP Thio Li-Ann and MP Hri Kumar. I read their speeches from The Online Citizen but I'm sure you can find it elsewhere including Singapore Parliament Webiste.

For the sake of protecting the integrity of the Penal Code - Singapore's law, please amend S377A instead of simply retaining or repealing it.

Of Penal Code - Section 377A And Gays

Much has been said about Section 377A of the Penal Code, with strong support and rebuttal, from those who are for or against, the repealing of S377A.

You can probably guess how I view this matter (and probably which side of the fence I'm leaning towards) by following the links in the right bar I have in this blog. And I'm sure SingapuraDailyMakan did not mention anything about S377A...let me check...ya, nothing mentioned about s377A.

I do not wish to repeat the argument and views that can be found in the news papers or internet. However, I would like to share with you my personal experience when discussing this issue with my friends.

Anecdotal evidence, i.e. coffeeshop / teabreak chats with my friends, revealed that Singaporeans are still conservative in general. Most took the stand of "I'm not gay, I don't know any gay so it doesn't bother me AND it is better to leave S377A the way it is" In other words, they echoed the explanation given by PM Lee (here). I consider these people "neutral" towards S377A and gays.

There is also a few of my friends (3 actually) who do not sit on the fence. It is very easy to understand the position they take. The two who think S377A should be repealed are gays... at least I know for certain one of them is. The one who insists that S377A should stay, sad to say, has a misguided view about gays. By misguided, I mean he claims that gays are pedophiles, gays want to befriend you for the sole reason of engaging "act of gross indecency" with you, gays are like vampires - they've got "bitten" so now they want to spread the "gay virus" to you etc.

So what's my personal views about gays and S377A? I intend to share my views on these issues separately - 1) my personal views about gays, and 2) my personal views about s377A.

Prior to all these buzz on s377A and gays, I do not know any gays and has very little knowledge about what a gay is. My impression was that being gay is a choice and a heterosexual can be influenced to become a gay if he always mix around with ku-niangs (feminine males) or narcissist body builders or some "bad childhood". In other words, I thought a homosexual can be corrected. In any case, my stand was (and still is) very clear - be a gay all you want, just don't influence me or my family or people dear to me, to be one. You have your sexual preference, I have mine. Let's agree to not impose our sexual preference onto each other.

Now, having read more from the internet, I realised gays are as such not by choice nor influence...they simply are like that (Yawning Bread has 20 Questions that could perhaps share some light for those of you who have not set your perceptions in stone about gays). Of course one could argue that gays claim themselves to be born like that and not by choice or influence, just to serve their own cause. I'll leave it to you to decide for yourselves.


What's my view about Section 377A? Let us have a look at it first:-
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"Any male person who, in public or private, commits, or abets the commission of, or procures or attempts to procure the commission by any male person of, any act of gross indecency with another male person, shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to 2 years."
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If the decision is rest solely for me to decide, I will not repeal it. Instead, I will amend it to be like this:-
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S377A - Any male person who, in public or private, abets the commission of, or procures or attempts to procure the commission by any male person of, any act of gross indecency with another male person, shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to 2 years. (Note that "commits, or" has been deleted)

AND

S377B - Any male person who, in public, commits any act of gross indecency with another male person, shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to 2 years. (Note that "or private" and ", or abets the commission of, or procures or attempts to procure the commission by any male person of," has been deleted)
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I'm not trained in legal matters and have absolutely no idea how the statements would sound legally. I assume that by amending S377A as such, a male should not encourage another male to engage in homosexual activities through persuasion or monetary rewards. And by adding S377B as such, I assume that it means-do what you want in private and out of the sight of public.

But of course I am in no position to amend the Penal Code and certainly no one can amend the Penal Code without considering the impact it has on the general public.

So, as of the current state of affairs, where do I stand with regards to the S377A? Did I sign the Online Petition? Did I sign the Parliament Petition? Well, I signed the online petition...after much thoughts. I was reluctant initially because it was to repeal S377A. The entire S377A will be removed if the petition is successful. I don't think that is a good idea. To be honest with you, like gays who choose to be honest with their sexual preference... on S377A, I stand on the same side with PM Lee, with particular consideration to the last statement he made...

"As of today, my judgement is: the society is comfortable with our position. Leave the clause (alone). What people do in private is their own business; in public, certain norms apply." (here again, bold inserted by me, that is the "bold" not the words in bold :p)

Little Things To Keep Marriage Alive

Been married for 7 years...do I get the 7 years itch? Well, the politically and sound answer would be - no. The truth is...still no. How do couples keep their marriage alive? Well, I dunno how other couples do it...but here's how we do it - do things we enjoy together! (wa lau! so cliche) :p

Ok, ok, I know it is difficult, especially when both of us have to work and after work, we're dead tired. A bit fortunate for us is that we're weekend parents but still, there's a fair bit of domestic affairs we have to take care of. So, on a day to day basis, we devote a bit of time to have fun - like play on-line games. Here's a picture of us. We were actually travelling from Victoria Island to Orbis, on a giant bird. I'm a magician/cleric, can heal you know. Wifey is a warrior/spearwoman...see that fierce looking spear she carries? Dun pray pray...
We enjoyed this game cos there's no blood and gore (wimps!) which means when our children are older, we can play with them also. Besides that, the monsters that we're supposed to kill aren't fierce and evil looking and it's kinda cute when they got hit...tears actually came out of their eyes...awwww.
The game is fairly simple to play and there's loads of fun there. Most importantly, it's not strenuous physically or mentally playing this game. So it's definitely an activity we can both enjoy doing together after a hard days work.

Gotta go now...wifey's waiting for me to start some fun...

Plan Before You Buy

I was reading the 10 Oct issue of my paper (Wo bao) where my paper reporter Christine Li conducted an exclusive interview with National Development Minister Mah Bow Tan with regards to residential properties, mainly HDB.

(tried to find the article in the internet so that you can read in full details but couldn't...the closest i got to was this)

The reporter posted 6 questions to the Minister. The first question was this (if you trust my translation skills),

"Will public housing (HDB flats) become very expensive? Are the younger people be able to afford them?"

The Minister's response was,

"In the latest sale of Coral Spring, a 4 room flat cost between $188,000 and $252,000. Taking $250,000 as reference, assuming the buyer paid 10% deposit, the remaining 90% (i.e. $225,000) on a concessionary loan rate of 2.6% interest with HDB for 30 years, the monthly installment will be $900 which can be paid using CPF Ordinary Account (OA). In general, the OA is 23% of monthly income. If a couple has a total household income of $4000, their OA should have $920 a month. Thus, there is no need to fork up any additional cash to furnish the loan. As to the initial $25,000, the couple's OA would be enough if they worked for about 2 years.... ...they do not need to fork out additional cash... ...70% of HDB applicants do not need to fork out additional cash..."

There are 5 other questions that talk about the $8,000 limit, not enough HDB flats, smaller HDB flats and competition with private residential developers.

I just want to focus on the first question here. Should anyone jump to the conclusion that they are ready to purchase a HDB flat base on the scenario given by the Minister...don't. Please spare a few moment to consider a bit more. The scenario provided by the Minister is not flawed... as long as everything turns out smoothly as planned.

Consider the following, assuming you and your spouse are earning a total of $4,000 since 2 years ago. You would not have any problems purchasing a $250,000 flat, right? At least, you don't have to pay the 10% deposit (or do you call it downpayment?) with cash since your OA should have enough.

Ask yourself this - will you (both) continue to draw the same pay, no more, no less, for the next 30 years? Assuming the answer is yes...how much will you have to meet the CPF minimum sum? Most likely your pay may change over 30 years and more likely it will increase..but what if it doesn't? Or suay suay one of you loose the job and remained unemployed for months or even years? Can anyone guarantee the worse case scenario will not happen?

Ask yourself also this, what if the concessionary loan rate changes, say downwards? Everyone happy :) but what if it changes upwards? Do you have enough savings/cash to top it up? Can anyone guarantee the worse case scenario will not happpen?

Finally ask yourself this - what if the 23% contribution to OA changes...downwards? Do you think when such a case happens you will be able to take the difference in cash? How do you cope with your loan now? Can anyone guarantee the worse case scenario will not happpen?

And the final bit of his answer...70% do not need to fork out additional cash. Are all of them able to meet the minimum sum later? What about the remaining 30%? Did they commit to a huge loan, lost their job or suffered pay cut later such that they need to top up with cash? Perhaps they wanted to have more in their CPF OA to meet the minimum sum?

My point is THINK - Don't take everything on face value. PLAN ahead, such that you won't need to suffer later.

Happy Birthday, Trixie!

Today's my 4 years old daughter's birthday. So I've decided to dedicate today's blog to her....

Mommy and papa had not planned to be parents...we did not want to have any children initially. Not that we wanted more time and enjoyment for ourselves. Just that, firstly, we're not those going all mushy over children. We don't go "oooh...isn't she cute...coo-chee-coo-chee-cooo" or "oorrrr, look at this handsome young boy, give me a big big hug...oorrr, you'll grow up to be a fine young man". No, we're not like that but that doesn't mean we hate kids. Considering the ever rising living cost in Singapore and the fact that we don't go head-over-heels over children, we questioned ourselves if we can be reasonably good parents (I'm not even thinking about GREAT, just reasonably good). We thought about this question before we got married. We thought about this question after we got married. However, we did not come to a conclusion until about a year before our dear daughter is born. It may surprise you but our conclusion was not to have any children...but we did...because, like I said, rising cost of living made condoms and birth control pills expensive :p so...

When wifey got signs that she might be pregnant (if you dun know what the signs are, it means you're still a minor...run along, go suck on a chupa chups or do what kids normally do...), we went to the gynae for confirmation. We were apprehensive and kept asking ourselves what if? skarly? how then? but all the uncertainties left my mind the moment I saw the tiny beating heart on the screen of the ultrasound machine... I beamed with a broad smile, brighter than the sunflower, bubbling with joy that I almost want to burst. IT'S A LIFE! I shouted in my heart like Dr Frankenstein when he awaken his Frankenstein .

Before anyone gets any funny ideas about Trixie, here's a picture of her and she's no Frankenstein. Orrrh...isn't she cute...coo-chee-coo-chee-cooo...I was sold that very moment to my daughter. The what if? skarly? how then? were still hanging over mommy's head. I had to stand up straight and give her all the assurance that even if the sky drop, I'll shoulder it. Well, with those kind of assurance, we cast all doubts away and focus on bringing a great life into this world (Come to think of it now, I think wifey has no doubts that she too was sold the moment she saw the ultrasound image but I think she pretended to be uncertain so that she'll get an edge over me :p)

Like all first time parents, we were all excited over the first pregnancy. We read any books we could find, we asked any relatives and friends on all that needs to be known, we consulted the gynae and even sought some spiritual guidance. It was particular challenging to both of us because we were doing part time courses (remember? we decided not to have and thus went to upgrade ourselves? or rather, I was oreadi doing my part time degree, wifey took on more courses). We had to juggle time between workplace, school and clinic. In a way, it was fortunate that I was doing my final year for my degree and one of the subjects was biology...naturally, I was very attentive on topics about pregnancy.

Everytime we visit the gynae, we asked about the progress of the fetal development "Doc, er, is the baby healthy? good? normal? everything ok?"... and everytime, the doc would reply "huh? you want to know the sex ah? girl la...oh?! Ok la, healthy lor, good lor, normal la" Well, we dun mind knowing the gender and we dun mind if we have a boy or a girl...most importantly, she's healthy and happy. As we're nearing to her delivery date, everything seemed to move a lot faster... we had to get a cot, milk bottles, strollers, steamers, baby clothes, powder, shampoo, bath foam, bath tub, diapers,blankets etc on top of juggling between work, school and clinic. The one most important task though, is getting the name. It has to sound nice, in all forms of dialect, looks nice, means nice...and eventually, we settled with Trixie which means Bringer of Joy... (in case you are wondering, you live up to your name, Trix!)

My wife completed her part time studies before the due date but papa had to carry on with assignments and prepare for exams during the expected delivery date. Unfortunately I was down with shingles about a week before delivery date :( Shingles meant that I won't be able to enter the delivery room and I won't be able to carry my Trixie when she is born :( Trixie's expected due date was 1st Oct and doc advised that if by the 5th she's not ready to be out yet, we may have to go for a C-Section or induce labour-Trixie was getting too big for wifey to handled afterall. That very night after we consulted doc, wifey and I went to catch a night movie, Infernal Affairs Part 3, I think. Returned home, bathed and sleep, as usual. It was about 2a.m. when wifey woke me up and told me her bag burst :o !!! So, we called our doctor and took a cab to the hospital. It wasn't until 3 am when the delivery room was prepared. Since I was not allowed to enter the delivery room (shingles, remember?), wifey decided to go for C-Section. She was worried about not being able to go through natural birth without me by her side...what if the pain was more than she can bear and she need to hit/bite/slap someone? She can't possibly do those on the medical team, right? She can only do that on her husband, right? She can't do that if I'm not there, right?

BTW, for those of you who do not know what's a C-section (Caesarean Section), it's delivery via surgical incision on the abdomen and uterus to bring the baby out. BTW, I've watched a video clip somewhere in the internet where they video record the entire process and another that shows natural delivery :| both have the same effect of making me loose appetite and skip meals. For this reason, I did not put the link here...go search the internet yourself.

All I could do was to sit in the waiting room and...wait...hello?!?! Waiting Room! Well, indeed I waited...and waited...and waited... "Mr Ape, you can go in now!" the mi-si (nurse) informed me.
"Baby's out? Where?"
"No, you can go into the temporary ward, while we prepare the operating theatre. Go talk to your wife"
"... ... ..."

It has not even started yet and I had waited for just 10 minutes. So I went to talk to wifey and did what men would do in such situation - behave like a duck, that is, appear calm on the surface but paddle like hell. The temporary ward (I think there's a more proper description but I can't recall) is where all very-soon-mothers-to-be wait for the most appropriate time to be shipped into the delivery room and start that "push! push! puuuuush!" routine. In the case of wifey, wait for the operating theatre to be prepared for the C-section.

Finally, when everything had been prepared, I was made to go into the waiting room again and waited. I think it was about half an hour later, mi-si came to me and told me I can see my daughter. After being assured of the health of both mother and child, I proceeded inside to introduce myself to our daughter. Trixie's a beauty and my only regret was that I could not carry her (shingles, shingles! damn!). If it wasn't for the shingles, I would have held her up and kissed her. Surprisingly, I didn't hear her cries. She was just staring back at me, perhaps trying to figure out who's this guy. I spoke to her softly, introducing myself, explained the theory of evolution, the philosophy of Socrates, history of China... (don't tell me you believe all these).

Mi-si returned by the time I just completed the History of Kin Jio Leaf. She took some measurement such as head circumference but was faced with stiff resistance from Trixie. Trix actually managed to grasp the measuring tape and engage in a tug-of-war with the mi-si...spirited eh? When she lost to mi-si, she cried, a very sounding cry but only for a short while. That was the first time I hear her voice.

Shortly after, Trix was sent to the nursery while wifey to the ward where I met her there. She's tired, certainly. So was I. Good thing was, there was a couch beside her bed so I rested there till about 6 a.m. when I was chased out by another mi-si. Kissed my wife and went home to prepare for the new life!

Mid Autumn Festival

Mid Autumn Festival has just passed us this year. It's celebrated by Chinese on the 15th of the 8th month of the Lunar Calendar...the day when the moon is supposedly the roundest and brightest. Many people (Chinese included) who are not so into the Chinese culture may thought that this festival is called Mooncake or Lantern Festival. This is because we eat mooncakes and carry lanterns on this day.

Some relate the Mid Autumn Festival to a particular event in the Chinese History when rebels rose to topple the corrupt emperor. They pass secret messages hidden in mooncakes. So much for my knowledge of Chinese history :p However, the significance of Mid Autumn Festival is actually to have family union, sharing it with people you love - you know, round moon, round table, equality, gatherings, togetherness...

Well, on that day, had dinner with family and as usual, led some children downstairs to carry lanterns and play sparkles....and something hilarious happened... Ok, I admit that there's nothing particularly funny about this picture. What happened was my nieces (the one in pink stripes and the other in blue) were posing for the phototaking. I was preparing the lantern for my daughter. Wifey was the photographer. At the count of 3, at the precise moment when the picture was snapped, I happened to extend the lantern and covered on of the beauties.

Celebrating Mid Autumn Festival can be fun...and dangerous. Most people (adults especially, and certainly police and fireman) would have been happy by just walking around with lanterns. The children and teenagers would be more creative - they'll start lighting candles in a row, set off sparklers, throw it into the air, let it hang on trees etc ... potential killer litter or arson. Over the years, I've seen lanterns burn, tress burn, clothes burn etc because the kids lack adult supervision when playing with fire.

Do have fun, but don't let celebrations turn into tragedy. OK, this is what it should have been...