11 December 2007

A Year Ago...A Death In The Family

Christmas is round the corner and I suppose many of you are preparing for the holiday season, if you have not done so. This post is nothing about being jolly or bringing good tidings. In fact, it's the opposite. So if you do not wish spoil your jolly good feelings... give this post a miss, please, I insist.

I will not hesitate to write talk about life, neither would I shy away from death. After all, have you met anyone who has never lived or will never die?

On this day a year ago (base on Chinese Lunar Calendar), my father passed away. There are certain rites to be performed, according to the Chinese practice, after one year. So, this morning, I headed to my mum's place. As the monk who assisted in the rites started the all to familiar chant, emotions started to well up and got stuck at my throat. I guess one can only move on but never able to "get over it".

It was a sad moment for my family when my father passed away. It was also a sort of relief - in the sense a relief for my dad and family because he was suffering for some weeks prior to his passing. My father suffered from pneumonia and a mild stroke which got him admitted into the hospital. The pneumonia eventually led to one of his lungs collapse. He struggled for a month or so and eventually passed away peacefully in the hospital. His wife, eldest son and youngest brother were beside him when he left. The eldest son, my brother was particularly depressed and that left me to take care of the funeral arrangements. My father was eventually cremated in Bright Hill Temple and his urn placed there. One thing we didn't realised was that his death had affected my brother more than anyone else.

My father was a conservative man and by that I mean he was the type who believes that man must be the head of the family and as long as he provides for the family 3 meals a day, roof over their heads and children gets educated, he has done his job. He would never have been nominated for the "Best Father of The Year Award".

Nevertheless, he was a good man. He would never impose his views or opinions on another. He would frequently offer alternative perspectives such as making you think about the fisherman who offers bait to fish or the patriarch who drove his prodigal son out of the family. Whenever something appears to be wrong, he would make you think about the righteousness in it or when something appears to be right, he would let you consider what could be the (wrong) hidden agenda. From his perspectives, there are no absolute wrongs or rights. However, that does not mean he was without opinions. He did have them. Just that he did not impose his opinions on others.

It's been a year now and life has to move on.

3 comments:

The Frog Prince said...

Je vois.. i see i see..

Thats why har :)

The virtual hug that froggy gave is sure not enough. Prolly a real one when froggy sees the Great Ape.

Something sweet and cold do help, somehow.. keke you know what i mean.

Hope Brother Ape is now ok.

ras said...

Cheer up!! Time will heal! :)

khirsah said...

Thanks Ras... time does heal. Just that sorrows creeps in occasionally.

Thanks FP, a hug is a hug, virtual or not... it's the sincerity. and yes, I believe 'sweet-n-cold' will help.