20 July 2011

Raise Our Wages, Can or Not?

Ape haven't been looking into the sacred text The KinJioLeaf for quite some time. Just some days ago, a certain news report made ape recall a leaflet out of the The KinJioLeaf. Of course they are totally unrelated.


The leaflet from The KinJioLeaf was a letter written some years ago to address some wage issues within the Mandai Forest. It was addressed to the Palm Tree Chimpanzee (PTC) who was setup to oversee the Palm Tree Orang Utans (PTO) who were in charge of the overall health and well being of the palm trees in Mandai Forest.

"Dear Chimpanzees,

We humbly and sincerely write to you to request for an increase of our salary by 2.8%. Our reason for this request is that the cost of living has increased and is likely to continue increasing. To list some examples,

1) Fuel cost, ERP, parking charges and maintenance has increased resulting in us having to spend more to drive to work.
2) Tuition fees, piano lessons and movies tickets cost has increased so we have to pay more for our children. Not to mention my children had wanted an iPad each, the latest model one.
3) Our foreign domestic workers have also demand for more pay.
4) Our wives have also raised concerns that, in spite of our cost cutting measures and a decent savings of $1611 (myself) and $543 (Esbe) a year, it is clearly not enough. In fact our savings dropped by 1.1% and 0.6% respectively.

We admit that our service has not improved much and at times there were isolated lapses but there have never been any major incidents... other than that time when someone sneaked into the nursery and vandalised a tree, only to be discovered by fellow apes when I sent it out to the forest. Or that time when other apes complained that there's not enough trees to provide shelter for them. Aiyoh, surely, there is enough if they could just squeeze themselves under those trees. Surely, these accounts are isolated and negligible.

Last but not least, we are only asking for an increase of 2.8%, a cap set by you, based on a formula that is what you think we should deserve.

We sincerely and humbly seek your approval to raise our wages.

Assam R.T.
Esbe S.T.

Ape couldn't find the reply though. Have a great weekend!