13 April 2009

Story of Duke and Bruno

Duke and Bruno have been with their keeper for as long as anyone can remember. Both are equally loyal. Both protects the interests of their keeper but in different ways.

Duke rarely barks. He would do his usual walk around the house, survey the area, keeping a mindful look out for anything unusual. He would pick up the wayward litter,casually dropped by his keeper when he takes out the trash. In the night when all were asleep, he would rest near the doorstep,keeping vigil. His gaze would be fixated on any passerby and ready to pounce on any stranger who has the audacity to trespass. He rarely barks and did his work dutifully.

Bruno was never missed by his keeper. His presence is always felt. He would follow his keeper wherever he went. He barks at the slightest anomaly, including the occassional rebel leaf from the neighbour that found its way across the fence. When opportunity arised,he would strut towards his keeper,parading the squeaking pest in his jaws - the pest that was snatched rudely from the paws of the neighbourhood cat who hunted it.

In spite of their differences, Duke and Bruno never had any rivalry between them. The only time they fought was playtime, solely for the entertainment of the keeper's child, KJ.

It was under new moon and the winds were high. A stealthy shadow leapt across the fence and took cover in the garden shed in a single swift motion. Fast but not enough to escape Duke's sight. Duke stood his ground and guarded the house entrance still. His gaze never left the fugitive. As long as the escaped prisoner stayed in the shed, he was no threat to the family and Duke intended to leave it that way. Nevertheless, Duke adjusted to a crouching position,ready to pounce should shadow take another step towards the house. Further up north along the street, the flashing lights of the local patrol could be seen.
Bruno roused from his slumber, glanced at Duke and realised something was amissed. He followed the gaze of Duke and barely made out a man sitting in the garden shed. Bruno leapt up, ran round the courtyard excitedly and woke the entire neighbourhood with his incessant barks.

The fugitive panicked. He had to think fast. From his position, he could see the patrol approaching. The barking dog had effectively blocked his escape into the street. He was not prepared to test the truthfullnes of the adage - a barking dog never bites. His alternative was to hold someone hostage in this house. He'd rather die fighting than return to the cell and face the noose. A hatchet hung harmlessly on the shed and turned evil in the hand of the fugitive. Shadow dashed for the main door. Duke pounced. Bruno watched as the hatchet landed on Duke's shoulder while Duke landed squarely on Shadow's chest. Dog and man sprawled on the grass. The hatchet flung into the bushes. Duke would have gone for Shadow's throat but was too weak. Shadow was disoriented but quick to pick himself up and dash into the street southwards, only after he kicked that barking dog out of his path. Bruno laid whining and wheezing with a couple of broken ribs. He would never be able to bark as he used to. Duke, totally exhausted and bleeding profusely, remained fixated on Shadow as he diminished down the street with the patrol on his heels. A couple of gun shots were heard and that's the last anyone in the neighbourhood saw Shadow. Duke took a final look at the house. Saw Keeper and family safe and sound. He closed his eyes for the final time, knowing he had kept the family safe.

Keeper missed Bruno's bark. In fact,he missed those days when Bruno would run around the house,chase after birds or leaves and any little things that excited him. KJ is no longer a child. KJ will soon be told that Bruno's health had deteriorated and he would need to take Bruno to the town vet. Keeper is sure that KJ will brightened up when he present a puppy to KJ. However,Keeper is determined that he will only keep one dog. Keeper knows exactly the type of dog he wanted.

KJ is at the pet cemetary. He placed Duke's favourite biscuit on the ground. He remembered how Duke would always break his fall when he was a toddler. Or how Duke would snuggle up to him and lick his face when he felt all alone in the sand pit. Duke never failed to find his lost toy or shoes. He remembered vavidly how Duke had heroically saved the family on that fateful night. He had witnessed the entirely episode but no one cared what he saw because he was just a kid.

20 March 2009

School Is Fun! Really!

School is really fun! If you know how to ask the right questions... if not, you can still make it fun by behaving like an absolutely insensitive moron ragging your peers or just a moron being ragged by your peers, video captured and posted online and laughed about it.

If only ape had been like them (ape meant the two mentioned below, not the morons above) during his younger days...

"TWO Singaporean teenagers have designed a 'sponge' that can possibly mop up massive oil leaks at sea.

Hwa Chong Institution student Tan Ding Jie and River Valley High School's Gu Tianyu, both 17, spent their year-end school holidays last year experimenting with a 'superhydrophobic membrane' that repels water, like a lotus leaf, while absorbing organic solvents such as oil.

Their project was one of 59 developed last year under the Young Defence Scientists Programme (YDSP), a joint effort between the Defence Science and Technology Agency and DSO National Laboratories.

The annual programme, begun in 1992, helps students venture beyond textbook theories by working with defence technology professionals.

Instead of enjoying time off during the holidays, Ding Jie and Tianyu holed themselves up in the laboratories of the National University of Singapore (NUS) to find the most cost-effective material to absorb grease or oil leaks. They were mentored by scientists from NUS and DSO. ..." (Straits Times, March 16, 2009) Click here to read more.


You see, ape was once a very bright kid. If ape had been better, he would be a lawyer or doctor... or a doctor who desperately need a lawyer or a lawyer desperately needing a doctor. However, when ape reaches that weird period in life called "teenage", ape became... weird. (Maybe ape has never grown out of teenage... or perhaps he did but had not loose the weirdness... whatever?!?!)

Interests in being curious was lost and curiosity took a turn in interest towards, erm other more sociological and biological subjects. The problem was, sociology and biology was not taught in secondary school - at least not then and biology was offered to smart students only if they can cope with physics and chemistry. Come to think of it, this arrangement makes sense. You have to have some chemistry before getting physical and only when you know what you're really getting into then the biology of life takes place... but again, with or without you knowing what you're really into, biology of life will take place... know what I mean? Don't? Told you I am weird, didn't I?

Anyway, ape's academic performance took a dive. In case you're wondering if the cause of ape's falling grades had something to do ape's independent venture into chemistry, physics and biology out of school's curriculum, nope, that was not the cause... ape didn't get lucky.

You see, studying has to be enjoyable, education has to be fun! Ape had lots of fun in primary school. There were no stress, no targets to meet and between ape and his primary school friends, never once did we compare our grades. Most of us lived in a small humble town called Taman Jurong and our parents mostly blue collar workers.

However, in secondary school, things took a different turn. Ape enrolled into one of the top schools. Competition was high. Teachers are worried about our grades. Students are worried about their grades. The parents are worried about their grades. ECA (now called CCA) was also a competition... with other schools. Ape was thrown into a very competitive environment but ape has never been a competitive sort of person. As if academic performance and ECA was not enough, there's a certain subtlety within the students and teachers to compare the family backgrounds of students.

Ape certainly didn't score on that either. But this is not want ape want to say, especially to my teenage or weird readers. The point is, when you feel stressed about school and studies, and you lost interest... beat up your teacher, rag your peers and burn the school down... ... ... no, just joking, don't do that... maybe just beat up your teacher. No seriously, don't beat up your teacher, rag your peers and burn the school down.

Seek knowledge that interests you. I mean knowledge, and not subject, that you can relate too and interested in. Ask your English literature teacher why people in Shakespearean time talk funny with Dees and Daos anon. Or 500 years from now,will the students then ask why is it students in the 21st century talk funny with words like OMG, LOL, XD? :p

Ask your biology teacher about the birds and bees... and why, even though you took protection, your girlfriend got pregnant! If you're taking history, ask why was World War II started and not when it started. Ask how did it end and not when.

Ask your mathematics teacher if he had ever used Fourier Series, other than teaching it. And how can maths help you solve the equation of,

John+Jane)=unwanted x preganacy

where,

protection ≠ broken ≠ expired

Ask yourself what would you like to know about the subject and not what is going to be delivered to you in the curriculum. Don't be afraid to ask questions and questions don't have to be smart... only answers need to be smart. In case your teacher gives you stupid answers such as "That's not in the exam" or "You don't have to know this", well, you can still try ragging him/her... or substitute John or Jane and see if equation proves true.

16 March 2009

Do You Really Need Your CPF Now?

Ape saw "Allow Partial CPF Withdrawals Now" in ST Forum. (Thanks to KTM).

Just to share some thoughts (thoughts meaning ape can be wrong) about the author and following comments to his article.

Gary Teo appear to be someone who is doing relatively well. At least he still has his job and his job allows him to pay off his 5 room HDB flat before 40! His children seems to be around secondary school age. Perhaps his financial crunch will come in 4-6 years time when they really need some money for their children's higher education? However, he did not elaborate further as to the "issue that worries" them. As far as ape is concerned, Mr Gary Teo is someone who does not need the CPF money now.

Comments following the article were mostly arguing, sarcastically, that our CPF should be released to us in times of need. Most of such argument will eventually lead to this,

"The BIG problem is the MIWs think that MOST SGANS dont know how to manage their $$$$... Posted by: NoodleWon at Sat Mar 14 19:02:38 SGT 2009"

Do we? Do we know how to manage our money?

Ape was once like quite a lot of people saying "CPF is MY $$$, why can't I use it when I NEED IT!" Ape still is. No one can argue that your CPF is not yours... unless you were once a victim or accomplice of those schemes where employers "borrowed" elderlies ID to make them their "employees" so as to get some grants/subsidies (ape's a bit hazy on this but I diverted).

The question is when and where can you use it. The answers can be found in CPF webpage. The problem is, some people need their CPF earlier than they are allowed to do so or for other purposes not allowed for in CPF... and so, it came back to this "CPF is MY $$$, why can't I use it when I NEED IT!".

What has changed for ape is the definition of NEED.

About the only people whom ape thinks has a real need to withdraw their CPF monies earlier than what is presribed are people who, by some unfortunate turn of events, have to incur HUGE sums of money for their MEDICAL treatments. Unfortunate turn of events (for medical treatments) include accidents and critical illnesses. If untreated, lead to death. Amounts so huge that their normal savings cannot cover (but adequate in their CPF). Maybe ape is saying this because ape is a smoker and worried that one day... he may get some heart/lung diseases :p Perhaps, ape REALLY should quit smoking... ...

Why not for times like now? Worse economy downturn ever? Loss of jobs? Because, ape thinks, one can save and prepare for such days and they are temporary. A simple solution is to save to an amount equivalent to say 3 times your salary or more. It may take years (took ape a decade to build up this amount... after ape has wasted some years before that) so do it as soon as you draw your first paycheck.

CPF is meant for retirement... for our old age. Thus, we have medisave (for medical cure during old age). We can buy our property, that we can still use in retirement, with CPF (conditions attached though). CPF is not meant for joblessness or bad economy... and certainly not a back up plan for those who don't know how to manage their own money.

Bad times such as loss of jobs? Come on, don't we have enough sense to keep some savings (other than CPF) for such days? Of course such savings won't build up overnight but they will eventually,as long as one watches his expenditure carefully.

"Spend within your means!" Cliche, right? But how many listens?

Ape be honest with you... ape wasn't listening in the past also and felt so angry that Govt don't think ape can manage his own peanuts. Until a elderly kopi-buddy advised ape to pretend that ape don't have CPF, what ape gonna do if he lost his job? Hmmmm... so ape start saving since and ape is reaping the rewards now.

Ooh... ape really finds it hard to believe that over the years, Gary had not built up any personal savings... unless, he doesn't know how to manage his money in which case, should his CPF be released for him to manage himself? Even if it's just a little?

26 February 2009

Buying a (HDB) Property

Ape sold his HDB flat a couple of months back... when property market was still good. Nope, ape did not make any profit - ape only managed to break even. How much ape (and wifey) took out from CPF to furnish the loan (including interests), how much ape (and wifey) returned back to our CPF. It's like saying ape has lived in a HDB flat for close to decade... for free :=)

For those of you who are considering purchasing a HDB flat, ape has no advice for you since ape is no property guru. However, the following was what went through ape's mind when he embarked on the journey of "owning" a property. (BTW, one doesn't really own a HDB flat since it's only good for a maximum of 99-years lease, that is, if you live long enough, the flat will be returned to HDB and you won't get a single cent in return)

What For?
The first thing that got into ape's mind was the objective of purchasing a property. What was ape buying a property for? To speculate and earn money or what they call "investment"? To live nearer to ape's workplace/parents/mistress (oops)? Or simply wanted a place to stay and able to declare "Welcome to OUR humble abode"? Well, it's all a bit of the above (and perhaps more for others) but ape set priorities and put "A place to stay and call our own" at the top.

Listing these objectives is important because they would eventually shape the choices and availability of the property ape were looking for. Therefore, with the priorities set, certain options such as "renting a property" or "staying in parents place" were ruled out.

HDB or Private?
First off, private property was (and still is) out of the question. Ape's income simply could not afford one. So ape turn to HDB. Ape didn't think further than affordability then. However, ever since, ape hears a lot of advice to make HDB your first property, even if you could afford private property. One of the reasons is that, should you ever wish/need to switch from private to HDB, it will be very difficult and it's not about affordability. Ape will leave that to the experts to explain.

Direct or Resale?
But then hor, should ape buy direct from HDB (supposedly subsidised?) or from the open market? Since ape was a first time buyer, ape can still enjoy a certain amount of grant ($40K then for a 4 room HDB flat) which more or less made the differences between direct and resale flats close to neglible - as far as $$$ is concerned. Eventually ape chosed buying resale for the following reasons:-

1) New flats were developing in places too far from parents (hey! ape still want to visit parents regularly hor!)

2) New flats were developing at areas not close to MRT (hey! ape no peanuts for private transport hor!)

3) Ape has to wait for a couple of years before the new flats are complete (hey! ape was getting married hor!)

To put it another way is that there's more flexibility in getting a resale flat instead of purchasing direct from HDB.

Where and Affordability?
So ape zoomed in on our requirement, that fulfilled our needs and start checking out the prices of resale flats in areas (near parents and/or MRT stations) to get a feel of "market rate". Next, of course is affordability. With our paychecks, we can afford a 5-rm or EC HDB flat but we decided against it. For the following reasons:-

1) The floor area for 5 room is big...which means we'll have to sweep more often, mop more often, pay higher Service and Conservancy Charges. BTW, Town Councils' Sinking Funds investments were not known and rebates base on flat type was also not popular then. So when all those news came out, ape said "Heng ah! Lucky I never buy 5 room flat!"

2) Whatever that went into our CPF would be utilised to service the housing loan... for the next 30 years! What? Did someone say "But your money just sit in the CPF cannot use for other purposes?"

But ape thinks simply, mah!

Firstly, can anyone guarantee that ape will keep his job for the next 30 years? On top of that, his income will at worse remain stagnant and will never decrease? Last time ape checked, no one gave such guarantee.

So how much can the ape afford? We estimated on this basis:- the monthly installment to furnish the housing loan should preferably be around 50% of our monthly CPF Ordinary Account (OA) contributions and not more than 75%. You'll need to do a bit of reverse engineering to establish what should be the purchase price of the flat. Other things ape had to consider was exactly how much loan would ape be taking? The loan cannot be more than 90% of the purchase price and cannot include any Cash-Above-Valuation (COV). On top of that, your initial CPF would be wiped clean first. (Ape will probably explain this in more details in the next post... but then again, ape thinks you shouldn't be lazy...so go HDB to find out the latest updates)

Why did we pick this figure of 50% of our CPF OA? Since no one can gaurantee that we could keep our jobs for the next 30 years, ape had to prepare for the worst - that is in case ape or wifey or both of us had been out of job! Let's say if ape was out of job the very fist month when he start furnishing his loan... where can he find the money? Not forgetting CPF already wiped clean. From his own savings, right? Then who's going to pay for S&CC, utilities, bread and butter? However, since ape applied the "50% rule" and if the ape was able to hold out for say 3 months before losing his job, he would be able to furnish the housing loan for another 3 months, right? The longer the ape keep his job, the longer he'll hold out if he loose his job. Boleh? In fact, if ape could afford it, he would not even want to stretch his loan for 30 years... the longer you loan, the more interest you pay!

So far,we're still on housing loan. We had to consider the cash sum, too. Thnigs that cannot be paid by our CPF, including Cash-Above-Valuation, property agent fees (if you're getting one), renovations and furniture. All these have to be worked out before one actually commit to purchasing the property.

So after working out our objectives, setting our priorities and calculated our affordability, the rest was a breeze - find a place that we like, give and take a bit base on priorities and make an offer within our affordability. Seller not impressed? Move on and find the next.

We got our first home within 3 months...I think. Had been staying there happily since. So why sell now? Well... objectives changed (or perhaps not) but priorities certainly changed but ape will tell you more next time.

10 February 2009

Huh? Wats Tat Again?

Ape is away from Singapore since early Feb. Been busy with hardly anytime to blog. Anyway, was trying to catch up on some home news by back tracking and here's what ape found...

Netizens ‘squandered an opportunity’

Ape was like "Huh? You mean there's is something called a community in the internet? Remotely resembling a group with a certain kind of characteristics and somehow, have to rise and voice up when something socially unacceptable arise?"

Come on... "netizens" are as generic "humans".

When ape started to use his brain,the next question pop out "Wa lau! You mean there's nothing more important to discuss in parliament? Aren't we in a recession? Look into that!"

Anyway... ape rants. Good thing ape is neither human nor netizen... ape is erm... ape :p