Little Things To Keep Marriage Alive

Been married for 7 years...do I get the 7 years itch? Well, the politically and sound answer would be - no. The truth is...still no. How do couples keep their marriage alive? Well, I dunno how other couples do it...but here's how we do it - do things we enjoy together! (wa lau! so cliche) :p

Ok, ok, I know it is difficult, especially when both of us have to work and after work, we're dead tired. A bit fortunate for us is that we're weekend parents but still, there's a fair bit of domestic affairs we have to take care of. So, on a day to day basis, we devote a bit of time to have fun - like play on-line games. Here's a picture of us. We were actually travelling from Victoria Island to Orbis, on a giant bird. I'm a magician/cleric, can heal you know. Wifey is a warrior/spearwoman...see that fierce looking spear she carries? Dun pray pray...
We enjoyed this game cos there's no blood and gore (wimps!) which means when our children are older, we can play with them also. Besides that, the monsters that we're supposed to kill aren't fierce and evil looking and it's kinda cute when they got hit...tears actually came out of their eyes...awwww.
The game is fairly simple to play and there's loads of fun there. Most importantly, it's not strenuous physically or mentally playing this game. So it's definitely an activity we can both enjoy doing together after a hard days work.

Gotta go now...wifey's waiting for me to start some fun...

Plan Before You Buy

I was reading the 10 Oct issue of my paper (Wo bao) where my paper reporter Christine Li conducted an exclusive interview with National Development Minister Mah Bow Tan with regards to residential properties, mainly HDB.

(tried to find the article in the internet so that you can read in full details but couldn't...the closest i got to was this)

The reporter posted 6 questions to the Minister. The first question was this (if you trust my translation skills),

"Will public housing (HDB flats) become very expensive? Are the younger people be able to afford them?"

The Minister's response was,

"In the latest sale of Coral Spring, a 4 room flat cost between $188,000 and $252,000. Taking $250,000 as reference, assuming the buyer paid 10% deposit, the remaining 90% (i.e. $225,000) on a concessionary loan rate of 2.6% interest with HDB for 30 years, the monthly installment will be $900 which can be paid using CPF Ordinary Account (OA). In general, the OA is 23% of monthly income. If a couple has a total household income of $4000, their OA should have $920 a month. Thus, there is no need to fork up any additional cash to furnish the loan. As to the initial $25,000, the couple's OA would be enough if they worked for about 2 years.... ...they do not need to fork out additional cash... ...70% of HDB applicants do not need to fork out additional cash..."

There are 5 other questions that talk about the $8,000 limit, not enough HDB flats, smaller HDB flats and competition with private residential developers.

I just want to focus on the first question here. Should anyone jump to the conclusion that they are ready to purchase a HDB flat base on the scenario given by the Minister...don't. Please spare a few moment to consider a bit more. The scenario provided by the Minister is not flawed... as long as everything turns out smoothly as planned.

Consider the following, assuming you and your spouse are earning a total of $4,000 since 2 years ago. You would not have any problems purchasing a $250,000 flat, right? At least, you don't have to pay the 10% deposit (or do you call it downpayment?) with cash since your OA should have enough.

Ask yourself this - will you (both) continue to draw the same pay, no more, no less, for the next 30 years? Assuming the answer is yes...how much will you have to meet the CPF minimum sum? Most likely your pay may change over 30 years and more likely it will increase..but what if it doesn't? Or suay suay one of you loose the job and remained unemployed for months or even years? Can anyone guarantee the worse case scenario will not happen?

Ask yourself also this, what if the concessionary loan rate changes, say downwards? Everyone happy :) but what if it changes upwards? Do you have enough savings/cash to top it up? Can anyone guarantee the worse case scenario will not happpen?

Finally ask yourself this - what if the 23% contribution to OA changes...downwards? Do you think when such a case happens you will be able to take the difference in cash? How do you cope with your loan now? Can anyone guarantee the worse case scenario will not happpen?

And the final bit of his answer...70% do not need to fork out additional cash. Are all of them able to meet the minimum sum later? What about the remaining 30%? Did they commit to a huge loan, lost their job or suffered pay cut later such that they need to top up with cash? Perhaps they wanted to have more in their CPF OA to meet the minimum sum?

My point is THINK - Don't take everything on face value. PLAN ahead, such that you won't need to suffer later.

Silly Short Stories - Kena Slapped?

During the Year 2003 National Day Rally, the then PM Goh mentioned about a story involving a certain Minister slapping a fellow Minister. PM Goh said "I must be suffering from amnesia. I just cannot remember this incident!" Well, I don't think he is suffering from amnesia because the incident didn't happen...
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According to the records in The Kin Jio Leaf, the ministers gathered for their regular afternoon meetings. Now, normally in the meeting the coffee boy called Koh Pee Buoy would prepare the drinks (be it coffee, kopi, teh, teh susu etc) for all of them. On that particular day, Pee Buoy was on medical leave.

"What! For the last 30 years he has never reported sick!"

"What's going to happen to my Kopi Oh?"

"and my Teh Susu?"

"I will not be able to think without my Earl Grey..."

Everyone started to panic...well almost everyone except the wisest among them all.
"Gentlemen, the world will laugh at us if we cannot get things done just because we're going to miss our afternoon tea... just get another fella"

And so, they proceeded with their meeting while someone went to get someone to make prepare the drinks. That someone's someone was Poon Lar Par. After being told what the ministers normally like to drink, he went to prepare and serve them. At this point, there was a heated argument over a certain policy where a certain young minister argued with 2 older ministers. Well, arguments in meetings are normal but Poon Lar Par was a bit buay song because he always thought that old people must be respected...how can the young upstart talk back to the elderlies like that? Boh tua boh suay! After serving all the ministers, Lar Par left for the canteen for his own tea break. He met his colleague who's also his trusted childhood friend, Soh Tong and started to tell! "Wah you know har...that young minister! How can he? He think he work so long and can talk back like that!" Lar Par ranted.

"Young minister? Long? Who?" Soh Tong asked.

"Ya la! Who he think he is? He long, people longer! Kena lan!"

"Who? Did you mean Loong or Hu? And who is Lan?"

"Aiyoh! Are you listening or not...that young chap talk back like that. His father never teach ah? Should be slapped man!"

"Who slapped who?!?!..."

"Ya la! The way he talk har, it's like a slap in the old men's face you know...eh, I gotta go, I think the meeting is over. I have to clear up...if not Pee Buoy come back tomorrow I sure kena slap by him"

That night, Soh Tong went out with his neighbour, Poh Sim Boon, to the nearby kopitiam for some kopi and smoke. Well, their wife don't allow them to smoke in the house so they went to the kopitiam to smoke lor...moreover kopitiam got Tiger Show mah...Ya la, Aunty Show who serves Tiger beer.

"So,Tong, how's it like working in the midst of all these big people?"

"Like that lor, I do my work, they do theirs"

"Any juicy stories, huh? Must have la! Heard anything or not..eh I heard they wanna ban smoking in kopitiam, really ah?"

"Huh? Wat? I wasn't listening...I was thinking about wat my friend told me this afternoon"

"What what! Say leh!"

"Well, Lar Par told me something about someone kena slap"

"Who? Who kena slap? By who? What? Where? When? Why? How?"

"I dunno...he said something about a young minister slap old minister..dunno wat long and who and lan...aiyah! I dunno la, don't tell har...wait I kena sack"

"I know already! The young minister must be Loong, who slapped Dhanabalan who sided with R. Hu!"

"How you know?"

"Who else got name containing Loong, Lan or Hu!"

"Oi! I never say that hor. No la, no la...I also dunno what happened! Dun anyhow say hor, som par, som par!"

"Donch worry, I WILL NEVER TELL ONE, I, POH SIM BOON, swear that if I anyhow tell, I'll never get to see my CPF!"
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Well, so you see, that was how the rumours got started...to quote the words from PM Goh's speech - "Now you know how creative Singaporeans are!"

Some Interesting Links

Got the following from Flo (Thanks, Flo). It's for those who lives through and remembers the 60s. Most of it relating to America, and some were international news... sit back and enjoy the music, if not the visuals

http://moreoldfortyfives.com/TakeMeBackToTheSixties.htm



This other made me laugh non-stop. Actually, there's more, like Samurai and Moscow. I first saw it in Mr Brown's blog. Those who put in the subtitles must be damn eng or very creative!

My loony bun is fine Benny Lava

Happy Birthday, Trixie!

Today's my 4 years old daughter's birthday. So I've decided to dedicate today's blog to her....

Mommy and papa had not planned to be parents...we did not want to have any children initially. Not that we wanted more time and enjoyment for ourselves. Just that, firstly, we're not those going all mushy over children. We don't go "oooh...isn't she cute...coo-chee-coo-chee-cooo" or "oorrrr, look at this handsome young boy, give me a big big hug...oorrr, you'll grow up to be a fine young man". No, we're not like that but that doesn't mean we hate kids. Considering the ever rising living cost in Singapore and the fact that we don't go head-over-heels over children, we questioned ourselves if we can be reasonably good parents (I'm not even thinking about GREAT, just reasonably good). We thought about this question before we got married. We thought about this question after we got married. However, we did not come to a conclusion until about a year before our dear daughter is born. It may surprise you but our conclusion was not to have any children...but we did...because, like I said, rising cost of living made condoms and birth control pills expensive :p so...

When wifey got signs that she might be pregnant (if you dun know what the signs are, it means you're still a minor...run along, go suck on a chupa chups or do what kids normally do...), we went to the gynae for confirmation. We were apprehensive and kept asking ourselves what if? skarly? how then? but all the uncertainties left my mind the moment I saw the tiny beating heart on the screen of the ultrasound machine... I beamed with a broad smile, brighter than the sunflower, bubbling with joy that I almost want to burst. IT'S A LIFE! I shouted in my heart like Dr Frankenstein when he awaken his Frankenstein .

Before anyone gets any funny ideas about Trixie, here's a picture of her and she's no Frankenstein. Orrrh...isn't she cute...coo-chee-coo-chee-cooo...I was sold that very moment to my daughter. The what if? skarly? how then? were still hanging over mommy's head. I had to stand up straight and give her all the assurance that even if the sky drop, I'll shoulder it. Well, with those kind of assurance, we cast all doubts away and focus on bringing a great life into this world (Come to think of it now, I think wifey has no doubts that she too was sold the moment she saw the ultrasound image but I think she pretended to be uncertain so that she'll get an edge over me :p)

Like all first time parents, we were all excited over the first pregnancy. We read any books we could find, we asked any relatives and friends on all that needs to be known, we consulted the gynae and even sought some spiritual guidance. It was particular challenging to both of us because we were doing part time courses (remember? we decided not to have and thus went to upgrade ourselves? or rather, I was oreadi doing my part time degree, wifey took on more courses). We had to juggle time between workplace, school and clinic. In a way, it was fortunate that I was doing my final year for my degree and one of the subjects was biology...naturally, I was very attentive on topics about pregnancy.

Everytime we visit the gynae, we asked about the progress of the fetal development "Doc, er, is the baby healthy? good? normal? everything ok?"... and everytime, the doc would reply "huh? you want to know the sex ah? girl la...oh?! Ok la, healthy lor, good lor, normal la" Well, we dun mind knowing the gender and we dun mind if we have a boy or a girl...most importantly, she's healthy and happy. As we're nearing to her delivery date, everything seemed to move a lot faster... we had to get a cot, milk bottles, strollers, steamers, baby clothes, powder, shampoo, bath foam, bath tub, diapers,blankets etc on top of juggling between work, school and clinic. The one most important task though, is getting the name. It has to sound nice, in all forms of dialect, looks nice, means nice...and eventually, we settled with Trixie which means Bringer of Joy... (in case you are wondering, you live up to your name, Trix!)

My wife completed her part time studies before the due date but papa had to carry on with assignments and prepare for exams during the expected delivery date. Unfortunately I was down with shingles about a week before delivery date :( Shingles meant that I won't be able to enter the delivery room and I won't be able to carry my Trixie when she is born :( Trixie's expected due date was 1st Oct and doc advised that if by the 5th she's not ready to be out yet, we may have to go for a C-Section or induce labour-Trixie was getting too big for wifey to handled afterall. That very night after we consulted doc, wifey and I went to catch a night movie, Infernal Affairs Part 3, I think. Returned home, bathed and sleep, as usual. It was about 2a.m. when wifey woke me up and told me her bag burst :o !!! So, we called our doctor and took a cab to the hospital. It wasn't until 3 am when the delivery room was prepared. Since I was not allowed to enter the delivery room (shingles, remember?), wifey decided to go for C-Section. She was worried about not being able to go through natural birth without me by her side...what if the pain was more than she can bear and she need to hit/bite/slap someone? She can't possibly do those on the medical team, right? She can only do that on her husband, right? She can't do that if I'm not there, right?

BTW, for those of you who do not know what's a C-section (Caesarean Section), it's delivery via surgical incision on the abdomen and uterus to bring the baby out. BTW, I've watched a video clip somewhere in the internet where they video record the entire process and another that shows natural delivery :| both have the same effect of making me loose appetite and skip meals. For this reason, I did not put the link here...go search the internet yourself.

All I could do was to sit in the waiting room and...wait...hello?!?! Waiting Room! Well, indeed I waited...and waited...and waited... "Mr Ape, you can go in now!" the mi-si (nurse) informed me.
"Baby's out? Where?"
"No, you can go into the temporary ward, while we prepare the operating theatre. Go talk to your wife"
"... ... ..."

It has not even started yet and I had waited for just 10 minutes. So I went to talk to wifey and did what men would do in such situation - behave like a duck, that is, appear calm on the surface but paddle like hell. The temporary ward (I think there's a more proper description but I can't recall) is where all very-soon-mothers-to-be wait for the most appropriate time to be shipped into the delivery room and start that "push! push! puuuuush!" routine. In the case of wifey, wait for the operating theatre to be prepared for the C-section.

Finally, when everything had been prepared, I was made to go into the waiting room again and waited. I think it was about half an hour later, mi-si came to me and told me I can see my daughter. After being assured of the health of both mother and child, I proceeded inside to introduce myself to our daughter. Trixie's a beauty and my only regret was that I could not carry her (shingles, shingles! damn!). If it wasn't for the shingles, I would have held her up and kissed her. Surprisingly, I didn't hear her cries. She was just staring back at me, perhaps trying to figure out who's this guy. I spoke to her softly, introducing myself, explained the theory of evolution, the philosophy of Socrates, history of China... (don't tell me you believe all these).

Mi-si returned by the time I just completed the History of Kin Jio Leaf. She took some measurement such as head circumference but was faced with stiff resistance from Trixie. Trix actually managed to grasp the measuring tape and engage in a tug-of-war with the mi-si...spirited eh? When she lost to mi-si, she cried, a very sounding cry but only for a short while. That was the first time I hear her voice.

Shortly after, Trix was sent to the nursery while wifey to the ward where I met her there. She's tired, certainly. So was I. Good thing was, there was a couch beside her bed so I rested there till about 6 a.m. when I was chased out by another mi-si. Kissed my wife and went home to prepare for the new life!